There’s a moment, often no more than a heartbeat, between what happens to us and what we do next.
Psychologists call it the response gap. In daily life, it’s the space between the trigger and our reaction.It’s in that space that we hold the power to choose.
We rarely notice it because our brains are wired to respond automatically, drawing on habits, emotions, and past experiences. This is efficient for survival, but not always helpful for the way we want to live, work, or connect with others.
Why the pause matters:
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At work: It can mean the difference between sending an email you regret and starting a constructive conversation.
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In relationships: It can stop a heated argument from escalating and create room for empathy.
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For your wellbeing: It can shift your body out of stress mode and prevent the emotional residue that lingers long after a reaction.
How to practice the pause:
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Notice your signals. Pay attention to rising tension in your body, such as a clenched jaw, racing thoughts, or shallow breathing.
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Breathe before you act. Even two deep breaths can slow your nervous system enough to make a conscious choice.
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Ask yourself: “What outcome do I want here?” or “Will this move me closer to or further from what matters?”
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Then choose. The pause is wasted if we do not use it to take the next step with intention.
You will not always get it right. No one does. But the more often you find the pause, the more you realise that one choice can shift your entire day.
Today, notice the gap. Make it count.
